Canadian Iconography: The Inside Scoop.
What are the icons that represent Canada? I think I’ve found four of the most important ones, as seen below.
The first one is obvious. It’s the Canadian flag. Personally, I like the Canadian flag, and I think the designer did well. Who wouldn’t fear a nation that decided to cover their flag in blood?
The next picture is of a beaver! Settle down, young reader! Only an immature fool would mistake this grand creature for the adolescent slang that ‘beaver’ can represent. Only a fool would make allusions to that other usage of the word.
A beaver is a mammal; a rodent to be more specific. A noble animal! The beaver is found on our five-cent coin. It’s also what initiated European settlement of the area, as Europeans were enthralled by the beaver and it’s fur. Naughty Europeans!
This next one packs two Canadian icons into a single picture; hockey and polar bears. Is there anything more Canadian than hockey? It’s the sport we developed and used to conquer the world! And when it’s played by Polar Bears? Crap, these guys could lead the league in penalties, goals, points and anything they wanted to lead the league in, because who’s going to tell them otherwise? I think the Leafs need to do some better scouting.
Maple Syrup. It’s sweet, it’s gooey, it’s great on pancakes, and who doesn’t like pancakes. You can even pour it all over naked hot-babes and lick it all…oh wait, this blog is PG. Notice that the maple syrup is in bottles shaped like maple leaves. How sweet is that?
Speaking of PG, or Parental Guidance, this next picture is certainly that! What’s more PG than a half-naked chick surrounded by bottles that used to contain alcohol? Beer bottles to be specific. Canadians are well known for their love of beer. Especially beer that comes in bottles. More especially beer that comes in bottles that surround half-naked drunk chicks.
That’s a lot of beer bottles. Way to go half-naked chick! We’re proud of you. Notice that one of the bottles is Molson Canadian, a sure sign that this picture fits Canadian Content requirements.