Can Beer Make You Feel More Canadian?

December 10, 2007 at 2:11 pm 9 comments

Beer is an item that Canadians hold dear to their hearts. Most Canadians believe that Canadian beer is better than American beer. Although in a corporate sense this is true, there are regions in the U.S.A that that make some amazing local brews; check out the beer of the North West (Oregon, Washington, and Colorado) if you ever have the chance. Beer, ultimately, is something that Canadians use as an attribute to define what being Canadian is.

 

That being so, I decided to conduct an experiment, in the name of both science and being Canadian.

 

I acquired a six-pack of Molson Canadian, and by drinking it, I wanted to see if I felt more Canadian. Here’s a beer by beer summary of my findings.

 

Beer 1 : Due to some previous experience with beer, I didn’t expect much after Beer 1. My expectations were met. I’m not a big fan of Molson Canadian in the first place, it’s an OK lager, but I’m not a big fan of lager in the first place. I wasn’t feeling very much more Canadian after my first beer. I wasn’t feeling any less Canadian either, though, so all in all the first beer has to be considered a success.

 

Beer 2: Beer 2 proved to be just as bland as beer 1. On the other hand I did start to feel…something. A slight thrill? A movement towards joy? A full bladder? All of the above, actually. Beer 2 was a good step, and I felt I was on the path towards feeling something, whether or not it was a feeling of being more Canadian was yet to be determined. On to beer 3.

 

Beer 3: Beer 3 was pretty kick-ass. Not only was I able to drink another beer, but Frosty the Snowman was also on T.V. That’s what I call ‘win-win’ — the best part was when the policeman swallowed the whistle. Also, in ‘Frosty’ there is a reference to Saskatoon. How cool and particularly relevant is that? After beer 3 did I feel more Canadian? I think so. My head was feeling a little lighter, and I started to care a little less about what people thought about me. No, wait, that sounds like I’m a little less Canadian. Crap. Never mind, let’s see what happens after Beer 4.

 

Beer 4: Before I realized it Beer 4 was gone. What the hell happened? Where did it go? Well, I know where it went, into my belly. And then my blood stream. But another great surprise was that Team America World Police was on TV, a movie I’ve been wanting to see for awhile. Sweet. So, do I feel more Canadian after drinking 4 Molson Canadians? Maybe slightly. I’m feeling a little more euphoric and quite proud, since Team America makes fun of American bravado and since according to some being Canadian means that you are NOT American. So maybe I should ask myself do I feel less American? Do I? Do I feel lucky, punk? Sure, what the hell.

 

Beer. 4.5: ‘Malignant narcissicm. hahahah.

 

Beer 5: The whole experience was great….until I saw the vomiting scene in Team America. Damn. Way to kill my buzz….

 

Beer 6: My bladder is full and I need to go pee but I’m still watching Team America. How long can I hold it for?? Wait, wait, pull it together. OK OK, let’s get focused and relevant. Does drinking Molson Canadian make me feel more Canadian? After six beers, I’ll have to say no, my bladder is full and that’s all I can think about. So, no. I’m not more Canadian. Unless having a full bladder makes you more Canadian, and I haven’t seen anyone claim that before.

 

All in all I consider this experiment to be a success. It took considerable toll on my body, but for the sake of science it was worth it. I have to conclude that drinking Molson Canadian does not make me feel more Canadian, and since this is the most Canadian of beers — sort of since Molson is now really known as Molson Coors, an American company — I’ll have to say that no matter how proud a Canadian is of his or her ability to drink a lot of Canadian beer that it does not make one feel more Canadian.

 

Recommendations for future research: Imbibing a 12 pack of Molson Canadian. Imbibing a different brand of beer. Try a different form of alcohol, Canadian whiskey is recommended.

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Entry filed under: beer, canadian, culture, humour, You Know You're Canadian When.... Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Fermentation Multiculturalism

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. beerdoctor  |  December 16, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    Recent investigations with a Labatt Heritage case produced my latest wordpress post “Remembrance Of Beers Past”. Your article made me laugh! Not a big fan of lager? Try Labatt 50, an ale that could whet your appetite for a bacon-back sandwich. Cheers!
    The Beer Doctor http://beerdoctor.org

    Reply
  • 2. bailiwicked  |  December 18, 2007 at 3:43 am

    I can’t remember if I’ve ever had Labatt 50 before…I probably have at some point in my beer drinking career. I’ll have to give it another shake.

    My favorite Canadian beer is actually Sleeman’s Cream Ale. Glad you enjoyed the post and I will check out your site.

    Reply
  • […] International Conflict: Tim Hortons vs. Starbucks (part 1) Today I decided to conduct a second experiment as part of an ongoing investigative-series determining what it means to be Canadian. In the first experiment I answered the question about whether or not drinking a six-pack of Molson Canadian made a person feel more Canadian. […]

    Reply
  • 4. daranee  |  May 22, 2008 at 5:22 am

    I love beer. It’s definitely my favorite alcoholic beverage. In Seattle, we take beer just as seriously as coffee. When my husband moved to Seattle he was ridiculed by a man who had just gotten out of jail for drinking Bud. You can’t drink that shit, he said.

    I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Vancouver, so I know all about Sleeman’s but what are the most popular micro-breweries in Canada? I have to say they’ve started selling Blue Moon in the supermarkets here and they’re pushing it in several bars. It’s nice though I prefer my Northwest beers like Manny’s (Georgetown Brewing) and Mirror Pond (Deschutes.)

    Reply
  • 5. C. Fraser  |  May 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    Funny story about your husband and the Bud. Heheh. It takes a criminal to set some people straight.

    Micro brews in the North West are the best I’ve tasted. Have you ever tried Fat Tire or Terminal Gravity? Some of my favorites from my time in Oregon. I’m not familiar with Blue Moon or Manny’s, but I’ve tried Mirror Pond, and I think I liked it. There was also a restaurant/pub in Eugene that brewed it’s own beer on site, agggh..can’t remember what it was called, but they had some awesome unfiltered IPAs.

    Sleeman’s Cream Ale is my all time favorite beer. When I lived in North Carolina and drove back to Toronto I would always pick up a case at the Duty Free on the way back home. I wouldn’t share it with anyone :).

    When I was in Uni there was a beer brewed in Niagara Falls called Gritstone that was amazing. Haven’t seen it since I’ve been back, though.

    Creemore is a pretty good micro brew, brewed here in Ontario. They make a cream ale that is good.

    Waterloo Dark is very good, if you like a darker beer. It’s brewed in Ontario too, so I’m not sure if it’s available out West. Lots of flavour with a subdued bitter element. Better than most dark beers I’ve tasted.

    I honestly haven’t imbibed much beer since I’ve been back – for various reasons, so I’m not as up on the local brews.

    Is Pabst as popular in Washington as it is in Oregon? LOL. I occasionally buy some here when I’m missing Oregon, and for such a cheap beer it’s not terrible, but, seriously, how can Oregonians like Pabst so much when there are so many other good brews to sample? Strange people.

    Reply
  • 6. daranee  |  May 23, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    That shows you what I know. The package for Blue Moon says the company is some Toronto/Colorado conglomerate so I really thought it was Canadian.

    Fat tire is great. And yes Pabst is served at a lot of places catering to the student crowd because it’s usually really cheap.

    I tend to not like Cream Ales as much. I like a little fizz in my beer. That’s pretty much the difference between Ales in Britain and America. Ales in Britain are usually very creamy. If you want fizz you’ve got to have lager. Lager isn’t really my favorite though.

    As I said in my previous comment, Seattleites take their beer very seriously. I was in Savannah Georgia a couple of years ago and I wanted to have the local brew. I saw only two tap handles and one had an eagle on it. I told the barman I’d have the Eagle beer. He said, you mean Bud? The point of the story is clearly they’re not into beer in Savannah.

    Reply
  • 7. marcello deantunano  |  April 29, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    canaidian beer isnt better than AMERICAN BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • 8. marcello deantunano  |  April 29, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    THATS RIGHT AMERICA IS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • 9. marcello deantunano  |  April 29, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    ☻«☻☻☺☺☺1☺☺

    Reply

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