Toronto’s Strip Club Industry in Trouble? Oh, no!!!

April 28, 2008 at 9:45 pm 12 comments

The once vaunted and educationally-stimulating occupation of stripper is becoming an endangered career choice for sexy-babes from across the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). In a shocking expose on the state of the stripping industry the Toronto Star has uncovered the sordid truth; strip clubs in Toronto are in trouble.

I was deeply saddened by this news.

Apparently the stripping business isn’t as lucrative as it once was, having to compete with all things internet. The number of registered strippers has dropped to 1,254 from 2,834 in 1998. The ladies aren’t able to make as much money providing Gentlemen Of Culture with dancing lessons. Naked dancing lessons. Usually in the gentleman’s lap.

(I’m very offended by this picture!)

Although I haven’t been to a Toronto strip club in over fifteen or so years, I have fond memories of visiting bastions of Toronto culture, such as Zanzibar and Caddy’s, as a youngster.

I made it to my first strip club when I was seventeen years old. It was a different time back then. Kids in my day only stabbed each other once, not multiple times, and if you had to shoot somebody you made sure you hit your target, rather than shooting randomly into a crowd and hoping to hit the person you intended.

It was in Quebec City during Winter Carnival. A friend, Marcus, and I were separated from the rest of our group during a high-school ‘skiing’ vacation. We wandered the streets of Old Quebec when, suddenly, we came across the entry to ‘Le Balzac’, which had pictures of half-naked women in the windows.

(Here’s one for the ladies. You can thank me later.)

Did we dare go in? Age of majority in Quebec was 18, so we were close to being legal, but we would have to rely on the good graces of the bouncer. Then we remembered an old saying: ‘When in Old Quebec, standing in front of Le Balzac, do as the Quebecois would do‘.

We decided the Quebecois would go into Le Balzac and have a beer or two and watch strippers. It ended up being four or five beers and we spent the entire evening in the joint. In retrospect it was a pretty stupid waste of time, but at the time it was great. Naked chicks ruled!

(Is this dog a stripper? Are you excited by the possibility, sicko?)

It was a grand evening, ending with my friend propositioning one of the strippers, being turned down, and then us being asked to leave by the bouncers.

That was the true story. The story that we told our friends when we made it back to the hotel was that we were invited into the secret stripper-room where strippers would perform weird and interesting acts of debauchery. If they liked you.

All of our friends, of course, wanted to visit Le Balzac first thing the next day. Eventually we had to fess up, but we had them going for most of the day.

We all went to Le Balzac again anyway, secret room or no.

And that’s my stripper story. Sure, my friends and I continued to go to strip joints afterwards, but it’s never the same as the first time.

While I was living in Eugene, one of my female co-workers liked to go to strip clubs and invited me to join her one day after work. I hadn’t been since college, about ten-years in the past at that point, and the prospect of going with a woman was too intriguing to pass up, so we went. Honestly it was a hell of a lot more fun going with a woman than with a bunch of horny teenagers.

Would I go to a strip club today? Honestly, I don’t have any desire to go to one. Besides the ethical issues, strip clubs are all flash and no substance. I would go again under the right conditions, with the right friends, who have the right attitude about it, but it’s not something that’s on any to-do list of mine.

Besides, there’s always the internet.


Entry filed under: culture, humour, opinion, personal. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Funny Stuff No Answer for a Dancer

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. daranee  |  April 29, 2008 at 3:50 am

    Never been to a strip club, but I once saw a plus-size burlesque group. They were one of many acts at a club on New Year’s Eve. I thought it was really odd watching all of these men talk about the “fat” girls while they were nonetheless mesmerized by them.

  • 2. No Answer for a Dancer « Canadian Fermentation  |  April 30, 2008 at 12:57 am

    […] Answer for a Dancer As a response to my previous stripper post here are the lyrics to the Consolidated song No Answer for a […]

  • 3. Sun Warrior  |  June 26, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    You’re making me feel old… the Zanzi was my first… and the women weren’t allowed to take off their g-string… Toronto the good…

    It’s true, predictable nudity is boring, unless the woman as an inkling of seductive power… which most women haven’t a clue… we’re guys, so we’re supposed to be automatically horny… *yawn*

    I always think its funny that lap dances are allowed in Ontario because male strippers and females audience are so out-of-control, that the feminist fears fell flat at women’s hypocrisy…

    Who says the judicial system doesn’t have clarity???

  • 4. C. Fraser  |  June 26, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Sorry to make you feel old, S.W. LoL. I can’t imagine a time in Ontario when strippers weren’t allowed to take their g-strings off.

    I agree with your statement about seductive power. Real men need more than a warm body. Strip clubs can be fun if everyone is there just to have some fun, rather then being there to see naked women. There’s nothing wrong with nudity, but the motivation to go to a strip club because you really need to see detached women taking their clothes off isn’t right.

  • 5. Sun Warrior  |  June 27, 2008 at 10:11 am

    LOL… now that I think of it, the first porn movie I saw was in Detroit… had to go over the river to see the real thing… in a real movie theatre…

    That is absolutely hysterical, looking at the world today…

    Don’t get me started on women and their complete illiteracy on male sexuality… one of the most enlightening moments in my life was when I said ‘no’ to a woman, and discovered the power they have always had… quite the rush… better than sex, if you’re not in the mood…

  • 6. alistair  |  June 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    “sigh”, women`s misunderstanding of male sexuality……..and thier need for commercial gain.

    best quote i ever heard regarding a woman;

    “i hear what you`re saying honey, but i see what you`re doing”.

    the strippers at solid gold in burlington will do what you want and if they like you…..and if you have a roll of hundreds.

    check out on my approach to helping guys to stay focused around women.

    and there are a few good ones out there….but we have to start kissing frogs……and not buying them houses.

    and sun warrior? that is the second best rush, but a rush men need to experience, so we can find out what is really behind that pretty face.

  • 7. Sun Warrior  |  June 29, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    My favorite is ‘men are sexist, women just make observations…’ LMAO!

    What am I? White?

    Women keep men in control because men can’t talk to them, so we just go on controlling the Earth while they complain about us…

    Too much fun…!

  • 8. C. Fraser  |  June 30, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    “I hear what you’re saying honey, but I see what you’re doing” Heheh.

    “and there are a few good ones out there….but we have to start kissing frogs……and not buying them houses.”

    I agree. We’re so caught up in these supposed traditional roles that we accept them without contemplation.

  • 9. thesharkguys  |  October 20, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Damn internet…first it killed off books, then newspapers, movies and now this?

  • 10. Anonymous  |  December 22, 2008 at 2:36 am

    Zanzi bar sucks big time….they should never allow someone by the name “Darrel” and his bitch “sarah”..go into that club at all..i am 100% sure they are the 2 reasons that,the club sucks…ohh btw girls got to be really careful bcoz both of those guys are fucking dangerous…

  • 11. reddemon  |  September 12, 2010 at 8:57 am

    anyone knows a strip club where u enter nude

  • 12. Clifton  |  July 8, 2014 at 3:11 am

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    this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.
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