Canadian Mysteries: Oak Island

May 5, 2008 at 2:13 am 7 comments

Off the coast of Nova Scotia is an island; Oak Island. It’s an island of mystery and intrigue. Lives have been lost and fortunes have been wasted. Decades of pain, laced with the sweet, luscious taste of sweaty tears — that’s right, sweaty tears — have been the only reward of effort into discovering an answer to the question of what is buried in the Treasure Pit located on the island. The potential for riches has inspired individuals for centuries and persists today, even though it is based on obscure, shadowy information and contradicted by modern investigations that shine a suspicious light on the authenticity of the claim.


The mystery has been haunting treasure hunters since 1795 when teenager Daniel McGinnis discovered a strange circular depression in the ground on Oak Island, and a nearby tree with markings which indicated that some kind of pulley system had been used. All indications pointed towards buried treasure.

(Map of Oak Island…or is it??? Yes, it is. Map found on

Ever since, people have wondered what lays at the bottom of the pit. Over the years groups of treasure hunters have formed to excavate the site, but as of yet all attempts to reach a conclusion have been thwarted. Some suspect the pit to be booby-trapped, thereby foiling all attempts at reaching the prize. Others shake their heads and see natural geography as the cause of interruptions and wonder why so many people have wasted their time chasing a ghost.

There are reports of interesting items discovered on the Island, although nothing of any value or worth. Some items found include several inscribed stones, including one covered in runes, links from a gold chain, and an autographed picture of Orlando Bloom.

(Autographed pictures of Orlando Bloom are known for their lack of value.)

Before we get into the facts of the case, here’s my opinion: It doesn’t matter. One way or the other it really doesn’t matter if there is or isn’t a treasure at the bottom of the money pit. What matters is the story, and it’s a fascinating one. If I have to choose between believing, and not believing, I will choose believing. I care less about rationality and reasoning, and more about fascination and intrigue.

If people want to blow millions of dollars on an adventure and a dream then they should go for it. What is more important than stories, whether they be true or fiction? It matters less about whether or not it’s true than it does whether or not it’s interesting and accessible.

Now that I’m finished channeling Yann Martel

(How is Yann Martel involved in the Oak Island Mystery? He isn’t. If you’ve read The Life of PI you know what I’m talking about. Picture from Wikipedia.)

This story has it all. A treasure. Men who want the treasure. Death due to attempting to acquire the treasure. Water.

Yes, water!

It also has millions of dollars spent on a fruitless search. It has references to the Masons and Knights Templar.

It’s the story of human dreaming wrapped up in a single island. It’s about people who are willing to fight for the ultimate price. But, mostly it’s a story about a hole in the ground.

In part 2, we will explore the known facts about Oak Island.

In part 3, I will explain my theories about Oak Island. They’re good theories. Trust me. You’ll like them. It’ll be fun. Kinda like when you chug the brine from a jar of pickles. Yeah, that kind of fun.

Part 2 can be found here:

Part 3 can be found here:

Entry filed under: canadian, Conspiracy, history, humour, mystery, opinion. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Being Canadian means Not Being American? Canadian Mysteries Part 2: The Hole In The Ground

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