Canadian Politics: Introducing Canada’s Political Parties.

July 24, 2008 at 1:50 am 6 comments

As long time readers of Canadian Fermentation know, this blog is extremely political. Every post here is an insightful missive on current political trends in Canada. Sure, it may seem like I’m writing about aliens and Ogopogo, or talking about poopy and hookers, but in reality each post is a sly and subtle jab at Canadian politicians. Go back and see if you can figure out which politicians I’m lampooning in each of my posts.

Since most non-Canadians have no idea what Canada’s political scene is like, I thought I would take the time to introduce the nations mainstream and lesser known political parties. This post is for mature readers only as some sentences contain adult situations and course language.

New Democrat Party (NDP): The NDP is the far-left Canadian party. The NDP are really a minor entity on the national scene. The party has won some provincial elections but nationally their best hope is that either the Liberals or the Conservatives will win a minority government, which allows them to have some say in framing the political discussion of the nation. Conservative Canadians like to claim that people who support the NDP smoke lots of pot and promote legalized prostitution (hookers). This is actually true.

(Would Snoop Dog support the NDP if he was Canadian?)

Liberal Party: The Liberals are, really, Canada’s centrist party, but, of course, all things are relative. The Liberal Party, although not as liberal as the NDP, are much more liberal than America’s Democratic Party–they make the Democrats look almost fascist. The Liberals represent the standard in Canadian politics, as, over the history of the nation, they have had the most success. Everyone hates them, though, because they tend to be shady and, due to their success, snobby. Unfortunately the other choices are even worse, so most people end up voting for them anyway. This is why most Canadians pour vodka on their cereal the morning of an election day.

Progressive Conservity Party (PC): The PC’s are the furthest-right mainstream Canadian political party. The PC’s, despite the obvious contradiction in their name, currently form a minority government. This means that they were not able to elect enough representatives to have the majority of elected officials in Parliament. Basically, what this means is that when the Liberals feel like they are ready for another election, they can call for a vote of non-confidence in Parliament, and, if it passes, another election will ensue. Right now the Liberals are a mess, so the PC’s are safe with their minority government. Canadian liberals believe that PC supporters all carry guns (despite stringent gun laws), and have rods up their collective asses.

(It is rumoured that Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, wears his suits to bed.)

Bloc Québécois: The Bloc are a bit of a Canadian conundrum. They are a party that competes in the national elections, but they only contest ridings in Quebec. Their main platform is independence for Quebec. For this they receive public funds from Canadian taxpayers–Canadian taxpayers from all across Canada. They obviously have never heard the saying, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.

The Green Party: The Green Party is slowly gaining acceptance as a main stream entity. Although they have yet to elect a member to Parliament, they continue to grow and gain support amongst the electorate. Still a fringe party, they have the potential to become a bigger force in Canadian politics.

Next: Canada’s alternate political parties.

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Entry filed under: canadian, culture, humour, politics. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

Canadian Recreation: Cottage Country Canadian Politics: The Fringe

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jobs Tipster  |  July 24, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Here in my country, the political spectrum is like a diverse list of almost extinct marine species. they are all running wild for the 2010 election..Canadian Politics??? I think, it’s nothing compared to ours. we have a lot of thrash here from political parties to the people themselves who serve in the gov’t.

    Reply
  • 2. Sun Warrior  |  July 24, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    The Liberals are in the same state as the Democrats were with Kerry.

    Guess we’ll have to wait to get rid of our leader from the Canadian oil patch.

    Guess he hasn’t done enough damage yet…

    Reply
  • 3. Canadian Politics: The Fringe « Canadian Fermentation  |  July 25, 2008 at 12:34 am

    […] Canadian Politics: The Fringe This is a follow up to the previous post about Canada’s mainstream political parties. […]

    Reply
  • 4. C. Fraser  |  July 25, 2008 at 12:38 am

    J.T. – Canadian politics is pretty benign. This is because the nation is good at telling us we prefer to drink beer and watch hockey.

    S.W. Would you rather have Harper or Mulroney as P.M?

    Reply
  • 5. Sun Warrior  |  July 27, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    LOL, Mulroney by far!

    His corruption was far more entertaining than Harpers. He at least had a soft heart, and had the incredible guts to put the gov’t books in order, do NAFTA, the GST, and all kinds of good stuff… that made Paul Marting look like a hero in the 1990’s, as if Mr. Dithers could.

    Mulroney did all that, while taking the punishing wrath of a political public that was going through ‘Trudeau Withdrawal.’

    I respect him big time, despite his flaws.

    I don’t get the same ‘gravitas’ from Harper. I think he’s just a callous neo-con. I mean, the rest of the world is now just getting over neo-conservatism, and we’re just about to start it nationally, after going through it provincially.

    Harper the hammer will do his worst, snicker when he leaves office, followed by the liberals in their usual cluster…

    Thanks for room to rant!

    Reply
  • 6. C. Fraser  |  July 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    S.W. ranting is good! Helps clear all the bile out of our systems!

    Interesting take on Mulroney. I’ll have to look more into his character.

    Reply

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