Canadian Politics: Introducing Canada’s Political Parties.
As long time readers of Canadian Fermentation know, this blog is extremely political. Every post here is an insightful missive on current political trends in Canada. Sure, it may seem like I’m writing about aliens and Ogopogo, or talking about poopy and hookers, but in reality each post is a sly and subtle jab at Canadian politicians. Go back and see if you can figure out which politicians I’m lampooning in each of my posts.
Since most non-Canadians have no idea what Canada’s political scene is like, I thought I would take the time to introduce the nations mainstream and lesser known political parties. This post is for mature readers only as some sentences contain adult situations and course language.
New Democrat Party (NDP): The NDP is the far-left Canadian party. The NDP are really a minor entity on the national scene. The party has won some provincial elections but nationally their best hope is that either the Liberals or the Conservatives will win a minority government, which allows them to have some say in framing the political discussion of the nation. Conservative Canadians like to claim that people who support the NDP smoke lots of pot and promote legalized prostitution (hookers). This is actually true.
(Would Snoop Dog support the NDP if he was Canadian?)
Liberal Party: The Liberals are, really, Canada’s centrist party, but, of course, all things are relative. The Liberal Party, although not as liberal as the NDP, are much more liberal than America’s Democratic Party–they make the Democrats look almost fascist. The Liberals represent the standard in Canadian politics, as, over the history of the nation, they have had the most success. Everyone hates them, though, because they tend to be shady and, due to their success, snobby. Unfortunately the other choices are even worse, so most people end up voting for them anyway. This is why most Canadians pour vodka on their cereal the morning of an election day.
Progressive Conservity Party (PC): The PC’s are the furthest-right mainstream Canadian political party. The PC’s, despite the obvious contradiction in their name, currently form a minority government. This means that they were not able to elect enough representatives to have the majority of elected officials in Parliament. Basically, what this means is that when the Liberals feel like they are ready for another election, they can call for a vote of non-confidence in Parliament, and, if it passes, another election will ensue. Right now the Liberals are a mess, so the PC’s are safe with their minority government. Canadian liberals believe that PC supporters all carry guns (despite stringent gun laws), and have rods up their collective asses.
(It is rumoured that Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, wears his suits to bed.)
Bloc Québécois: The Bloc are a bit of a Canadian conundrum. They are a party that competes in the national elections, but they only contest ridings in Quebec. Their main platform is independence for Quebec. For this they receive public funds from Canadian taxpayers–Canadian taxpayers from all across Canada. They obviously have never heard the saying, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.
The Green Party: The Green Party is slowly gaining acceptance as a main stream entity. Although they have yet to elect a member to Parliament, they continue to grow and gain support amongst the electorate. Still a fringe party, they have the potential to become a bigger force in Canadian politics.
Entry filed under: canadian, culture, humour, politics. Tags: bloc quebecois, Canada, canadian, canadian politics, green party, liberals, new democrat party, politics, progressive conservative, stephen harper.