Canadian Elections: Dog In Underpants Miffed at Debate Snub

September 30, 2008 at 11:40 pm 4 comments

With only fourteen days left until the federal election Canada’s political parties are starting to rev their election machines into high-gear.  That is, all parties except for one, the Cirelleans.

Unfortunately their leader, Nathan Humbolt – also known as Dog In Underpants – isn’t able to drive, and therefor cannot rev anything.  This hasn’t detered the fearless leader, though, and he has been putting paw to pavement in an attempt to entice hesitant voters to consider his mostly unknown party.

(Politics is a difficult game…even more so if you have four legs and enjoy rubbing your butt on carpet.)

“When you have a space and de-worming oriented platform it can be difficult to entice some of the lesser intelligent voters to give you their vote.  Smart voters see the value in voting Cirellean.”  Dog In Underpants then proceeded to lick his nards for 30 minutes.

When asked if he thought the fact that he was a dog was hurting his parties chances, he replyed that he thought that it was possible.  “Canadian voters are idiots.  All they care about is stuff like the economy and infrastructure.  Don’t they realize that if we were to base ninety-percent of the Canadian economy on space exploration that we could generate huge amounts of profit from other nations?  We will be the envy of the entire world,” Nathan exclaimed.

“Space exploration will engage a huge portion of the Canadian citizenry in quality employment.  With my economic package we will eliminate unemployment by the year 2016, which is great considering I’ll be twenty-years old by then, and probably dead.”

Dog In Underpants is also upset by the fact that he will not be allowed to attend the upcomming debates.  “It’s unbelieveable.  They let that lady in, I don’t even know what party she represents, but they won’t let me debate?  What’s with that?  I think its speciest, that’s what.  It’s because I’m a dog.  That’s the only reason.  Well, that and the fact that officials are worried that I’ll mark all the podiums with my urine.”

(Remember to vote Cirellean on October 14.)

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Entry filed under: canadian, humour, politics. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

What Happened? Canadian Elections: Canada Vs. America

4 Comments Add your own

  • 2. Alex L.  |  October 1, 2008 at 8:23 am

    If he was a cat they’d let him in, or even a bear… those god dam bears.

    Reply
  • 3. blogoffanddie  |  October 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    I had underpants like Nathans – but then my wife made me give them to the poor….?

    What do you mean fascist commie pig? OK, I’ll agree to the commie part, and the pig – well sometimes – as for fascist, OK, true again. You know me so well.

    Cheers, Tim

    Reply
  • 4. C. Fraser  |  October 2, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    Alex: Damn bears. Who do they think they are, shitting in the woods all the time. Stupid bears.

    Tim: Damn wives. Who do they think they are, determining which underpants we can and cannot wear. You need to go up to your wife and tell her “Hey, wife, this commie-fascist pig isn’t going to take it any more! I’m going to wear what underpants I want when I want!”

    When she kicks you out of the home you can come sleep in my couch.

    Reply

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