Absurdity In Reality

January 9, 2009 at 12:29 am 5 comments

Wow.  That was some break.  I hadn’t meant to take a break over the holidays, but, well, it just happened.  And I mean a real break from the internet, with limited logging-on and avoiding the time-consuming computer habits that I usually waste my days with.

It was nice.

It was so nice, in fact, that it has been difficult convincing myself to return to my internet hobbies, including reading blogs and writing for Canadian Fermentation.  On the other hand it’s good to be back.

My original plan was to write a post about how much I love my readers and then talk about the impressive absurdist literature I read during my break- including Bulgakov, Christopher Moore and Don Cherry – to show off what an intelligent and condescending creature I am, but instead I want to share with you, Dear Reader, a moment of absurdity that I experienced in REAL life.

Real life?  That’s crazy!

I know, but bare with me.  In the end it will all make sense.

There I was, Dear Reader, being a good boy and taking care of a list worth of errands, running helter-skelter through the highways and byways of my neighbourhood.  Minutes later I was finished.  To congratulate myself on a job well done I decided to hit Tim Horons and grab a double-double for my walk home.

At this point I realized that my bladder was about to explode – yeah, I’m a little slow – so the first thing I do is head for the bathroom.  I test the handle to see if it’s locked, but it rotates, so I push the door open.  I’m about to walk into the room when I notice something like this:


OK, not exactly like that, because it was a man’s ass that I almost face-planted into rather than a cat’s.


There was this guy, bent over with his ass facing directly towards the door wiping away.




I decided that I did not need to use the bathroom that badly.  I went to the counter to order my coffee and broke out laughing at the absurdity of the situation.  I didn’t  stop laughing for the next ten-minutes or so.

Seriously, how often do you get such a welcome when walking into a room?  Sure, it was a bathroom, but you still don’t expect The Hairy Ass treatment when entering.

I started to convince myself that this clown was doing this on purpose; the door was unlocked and he was perfrectly positioned .  I stopped trying to convince myself that it was on purpose, though, because that train of thought just started to piss me off, rather than make me laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

It’s much funnier to think that some fool was caught in an embarassing position, rather than some pervert getting his jollies out of literally making an ass of himself.

I have to admit, though, that I feel much better now that I’ve shared my experience with you, Dear Reader.  I needed to get it off my chest.  It was a situation that was too silly to keep unto one’s self.



Entry filed under: canadian, Cats, humour, personal.

Redux: An Apple A Day… Canadian Prime Ministers

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alex L.  |  January 10, 2009 at 4:40 am

    Well, I dont know how you wipe but that guy was doing nothing wrong… NOTHING!

    Well maybe not nothing… maybe a lot.

  • 2. C. Fraser  |  January 10, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Although I’m all for alternative wiping methods – hey creativity should be embraced in all aspects of life – I’d prefer if he kept it private from now on.

  • 3. nursemyra  |  January 13, 2009 at 8:03 am

    he was wiping his ass while inspecting his doings? yeah right…. I think he was looking for a little bumbum action

  • 4. C. Fraser  |  January 15, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    I fear you are right, nursemyra. But I don’t like fear, so I block that probability from my mind.

  • 5. nursemyra  |  January 15, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    I utilise the “head in the sand” mentality when confronted with unpleasant truths also. works for me!


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