International Amoeba Battle: Canada Vs. Brazil
Welcome back, sports fans, to International Amoeba Battles. Today we have an exciting match between the indomitable Canadian Amoeba and the svelte and sexy Brazilian Amoeba. Today’s match is being staged at the newest Amoeba Battle Arena in the world, located in chilly Yellowknife, capital city of Canada’s Northwest Territories (NWT).
The temperature in Yellowknife today is -274 degrees Kelvin. Residents of Yellowknife consider this “moderate”.
The new Battle Arena is a spectacular architectural achievement. The choice of building an open air arena, instead of a dome, has many wondering about the sanity of the architect. Although the weather can be quite pleasant during the week of summer Yellowknife experiences, the rest of the year is considered uninhabitable by most reasonable people.
On the left is Canadian Amoeba, who had a good showing in a battle against Australian Amoeba, that ended with Canadian and Australian Amoeba teaming up to smite Swedish Amoeba. What a twist!
On the right is Brazilian Amoeba, in Brazil’s first International Amoeba Battle appearance. Brazilian Amoeba appears to be wearing a pair of bikini bottoms, borrowed from the Brazilian beach volley ball team. Very sexy! Unfortunately bikini bottoms are against Amoeba Battle rules, so Brazilian Amoeba will have to take them off.
For today’s battle, I brought my cat, as he enjoys violence and combat.
Unfortunately, having eaten and imbibed a merry amount over the holidays, all of my luscious muscles have gone to pot. My cat also had a festive holiday season, and has become even more out of shape than usual. Have no fear, Amoeba Battle Fans, as my cat and I are performing intense workouts to get back into shape.
Canadian Amoeba and Brazilian Amoeba start the fight by circling one another. This is the first time these opponents have met, so it looks like they are going to take a moment to size one another up.
I’m sure by now you have noticed the improved visuals for this International Amoeba Battle. Canadian Fermentation has upgraded its technological capabilities in order to bring you a visceral experience, Dear Viewer. No expense has been spared! We hope you enjoy it.
Canadian Amoeba and Brazilian Amoeba continue to circle one another. Brazilian Amoeba reaches out and takes a shot at Canadian Amoeba, but the northerner manages to maneuver away from the punch. Canadian Amoeba appears reluctant to engage the enemy in combat. This is becoming an embarrassment for the home fans, who are starting to become restless. There have been a few scattered boos throughout the arena.
Wait a minute! It looks like something is happening. Brazilian Amoeba is slowing down, and looking rather pale. What is with all that shivering?
Brazilian Amoeba has stopped moving and is standing still. Canadian Amoeba moves in for the kill, raising a couple of pseudopods in preparation of the final blow…
Smash!! Wow!! It looks like, due to the extreme cold of Yellowknife, Brazilian Amoeba became an amoebapop thus allowing Canadian Amoeba to shatter Brazilian Amoeba into tiny shards. What amazing strategy on the part of Canadian Amoeba!
Now the reason for the open roof stadium makes sense. The architect is a genius! Give them a raise.
Well, that was another amazing International Amoeba Battle, wasn’t it? Very invigorating. I don’t know about you, Dear Viewer, but I can’t wait until the next International Amoeba Battle. Stay tuned.