Canadian Battle: Moose Vs. Kangaroo

October 23, 2008 at 11:19 pm 11 comments

In our first competition between the animals of the ruggedly beautiful Canadian wilderness and the barren wastelands of Australia, Canadian Fermentation has determined the outcome of a Moose vs Kangaroo battle.  Let’s take a look at our contestants:

MIGHTY MOOSE

V.S.

KRAZY KANGAROO

This battle – as I’m sure most battles between Australian and Canadian animals will turn out – was not much of a contest.

Size: Weighing in at over 200 lbs, and standing over 6 1/2 ft, the kangaroo may seem like an intimidating opponent;  that is until one stands beside a moose which can grow to 7 ft at the shoulder, and weigh almost 1, 400 lbs.  If that is not intimidating enough for you consider that the span across a moose antler is 6 ft.

Size advantage favours the moose.

Reach: Kangaroos are known for their boxing prowess which, you might think, gives them an advantage against a non-boxing prowessed type animal.   Unfortunately their boxing ability is vastly exaggerated.   Seriously, look at those tiny little Australian hands that the kangaroo has.  Do you really think that they could hurt the mighty hide of the Canadian moose?  Ha.  Drink another Fosters, my Australian friends.

Consider the size of the moose’s antlers and the limited reach of the kangaroo, the advantage has to go to the moose.

Speed: The kangaroos top speed is about 70 km/h – quite impressive for an Australian!  With all its bulk the moose is not the most maneuverable of animals, but can reach speeds of over 56 km/h.

We have no choice to admit that the kangaroo takes this category, which is a good think, I suppose.  With all that speed the kangaroo can easily run away after the moose kicks his ass.

Overall winner: The moose, of course.  Seriously, who would you rather fight?  A kangaroo or a moose?

Next battle: The next battle will be equally as interesting, and fair, as this one, I’m sure.  Keep an eye out for the awsomeness that is Koala bear vs Grizzly bear.

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Entry filed under: canadian, humour, international. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

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11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ahmnodt Heare  |  October 24, 2008 at 2:23 am

    I am glad the moose won. Kangaroo cheated against Platypus in the Aussie Finals.

    Reply
    • 2. Moosy  |  November 11, 2009 at 5:16 am

      Moose rule….that’s just a fact.

      Reply
  • 3. Alex L.  |  October 24, 2008 at 5:52 am

    Oh come on now no Australian would drink fosters, thats the cheap crap we import just for kicks. A moose, pfffft whatever… like a big horny labrador.

    Reply
  • 4. Anonymous  |  January 20, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    hi

    Reply
  • 5. C. Fraser  |  January 21, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Hello, sexy.

    Reply
  • 6. AndrewG  |  September 3, 2009 at 3:33 am

    Did you know some people in Australia are obsessed with moose? Especially those living in Queensland, its funny but I think if Canada sent a few to QLD they would probably start a breeding program and try and introduce them to join the outback camels.

    Reply
  • 7. BC  |  September 3, 2009 at 3:41 am

    If the battle was staged in Canada, you could bill the contest as nude wrestling. We all know how much you Canadians love your moose. Especially in compromising positions.

    Reply
  • 8. MooseLover  |  September 3, 2009 at 3:43 am

    I think that the love from people to moose.. or meese as some people call them should be dignified by marriage. It is legal in some countries to be married to an animal, why not here??

    Reply
  • 9. Doni  |  September 3, 2009 at 3:46 am

    What is a moose ?

    Are there any in 2nd life ?

    I am looking to get married in the game.

    Reply
  • 10. BC  |  June 11, 2010 at 4:22 am

    Does anyone know if its legal to marry a moose in QLD ?
    This is a rather urgent request so appreciate any feedback.

    Reply
    • 11. C. Fraser  |  June 11, 2010 at 6:15 pm

      I say go for it! Your honeymoon should be spectacular.

      Reply

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