So, You Want To Know About Canada, Part 1.
Hey…psssssst…come here. I want to tell you something.
Yeah, you. I hear you’ve been asking about Canada.
Yeah, I have!
Great! Well you’ve come to the right place. I can answer all your questions.
That sounds good.
Not only does it sound good, it will also feel good.
Oh, that’s nice…wait, what exactly do you mean by feel good?
Never mind that. For now. The first thing you want to know about Canada is that it’s big.
Bigger than Australia and Perez Hilton’s ego combined.
I know! It’s unbelievably big.
If it’s that big, then the people who live there must be giants.
That’s a reasonable, yet crazy assumption. People in Canada are normal sized.
Hmmm. Well, if it’s that big then there must be billions of people living there.
Not at all, my ignorant friend. Canada actually has one of the lowest population densities of any nation.
It’s true. That’s because most of the space in Canada isn’t readily habitable by sane people.
Not even remotely, but here is something that is interesting. Canada is the world leader in the production of maple syrup.
That’s not interesting either.
If you like pancakes and waffles it’s very interesting.
Fattening breakfast foods are OK. What else do Canadians eat?
For the answer to that question, you will have to wait for the next edition of So, You Want To Know About Canada.
Crap! What if I don’t want to wait?