Canadian Prime Ministers

Back to the roots of Canadian Fermentation!  I have recently started some exhaustive research into the history of Canadian Prime Ministers.  This has led to some interesting discoveries!  I’ve included some of the more interesting and strange – as well as some of the more infamous – examples of Canadian Prime Ministers. I hope you enjoy it.

Please feel free to leave a response and share who your favourite Prime Minister is.

Sir John A. McDonald:

• Served two terms; the first Canadian Prime Minister from 1867-1873, and a second stint from 1878 – 1891.
• One of the Fathers Of Confederation.
• Enjoyed drinking.  Heavily.  Often.  Sometimes naked, when he would yell to his enemies, “Bring it, bitches.”
• Born in Scotland, which may explain the drinking.
• Progenitor of the trans-Canada railway.

(Sir John A. McDonald enjoyed sunsets, long walks on the beach and parties.)

Sir John Abbott:

• 3rd Prime Minister of Canada.
• Nobody fucking cares about John Abbott.

(Who is this guy?)

Groucho Marx:

• Little known fact that Marx was Prime Minister in 1933.  Ruled under the name Rufus T. Firefly.
• Changed the name of country from Canada to Freedonia.
• Forced Freedonia into a war with fictional country, Sylvania.  Hilarity ensued.
• Wields a mean Stradivarius.
• Excerpt from cabinet meeting:
  
• Minister of Finance: Here is the Treasury Department’s report, sir. I hope you’ll find it clear.
  Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report.
  [to Bob Roland]
  Rufus T. Firefly: Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it.

(Mr. Marx had the reputation that he would do anything, or anyone, for power.)

William Lyon Mckenzie King:

• Served as Prime Minister on three different occasions; 1921-1926, 1926-1930, 1935-1948, thus winning the Triple Crown of Canadian politics.  His award was a free extra large double-double at Tim Hortons.
• It’s good to be king.
• Introduced old-age pensions.
• Prime Minister during WWII.  Claims he single-handedly beat Hitler at a game of crokonole, thus ending the war.

(The Lyon King also wore a crown as World Crokonole Champion from 1941 – 1946)

Lester B. Pearson:

• Prime Minister from 1963-1968.
• Won Nobel Peace Prize in 1957 for role in ending the Suez Crises by introducing crokoonole to the Middle East.
• President of 7th session of the United Nation’s General Assembly.
• Brought many programs to Canada, including; universal health care, Canadian pension plan and full nudity strip clubs.
• Approved the current Canadian flag.
• Created world’s first race-free immigration system, leading to the establishment of a UFO landing dock at St. Paul, Alberta.

(Lester Pearson established the first inter-galactic immigration system.)

Joe Clark:

• 1979-1980 (9 months)
• Joe who?

(Historians remain baffled.)

Kim Campbell:

• 1993 (4 months)
• First woman Prime Minister.
• Last woman Prime Minister.

(Kim Campbell once said that she only served as Prime Minister for four months because she was able to accomplish everything she set out to do in that time.  It might be true.)

Satan:

• Has served as Canadian leader intermittently, according to hard-core religious American conservatives.
• Dresses exclusively in red.  Obvious sign of communist leanings.
• Allows gay rights.  Plans to introduce inter-species marriages.
• Free medical care is just a scam to bankrupt the country as well as the citizen’s morals.
• Wants to change name of country to Kanuckistan.

(Satan often gets a bad rep, but he has quality leadership capabilities.  He’s not afraid to get the job done, by any means necessary.)